The Kitchen & Bath Insider© – Annual Regents Exam!

By Paul Bookbinder, M.I.D.

I’m pleased to say that this article marks the tenth anniversary of The Kitchen & Bath Insider© appearing in this publication. In lieu of having a big party, I’ve decided a quiz would be more apropos, to see what you have absorbed from the past 116 articles.

Although I haven’t prepared a real test since I was a professor at Queensborough College, many years ago, I did my best not to make it too difficult. Like the Regents exams our children are now subject to, it is cumulative. So, sharpen your #2 pencils, take a deep breath, and good luck. (You have five minutes).

1. The Wizard of Oz is as relevant today as it was in 1939 because: a) people’s homes are being sucked up by evil forces; b) our leaders have no brains, heart or courage; c) there’s no place like your kitchen; d) all of the above.

2. Engineered stone countertops are: a) transported by train; b) easy to stain; c) almost indestructible; d) less than perfect.

3. If you save up $250 in quarters you should: a) go to the Empire Racino in Yonkers and play the slots; b) use them as a paperweight (do people use paperweights anymore?); c) save the money for remodeling your kitchen or bath.

4. If someone offers to completely remodel your kitchen in five days for $5,995.00 you should: a) sign the contract immediately; b) have your head examined; c) have their head examined; d) check their references.

5. Shakespeare’s, Hamlet felt it was nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of a full renovation, if: a) you desire to spend a lot of money; b) you don’t have much time; c) you want to change your kitchen layout; d) you don’t have the Cliff notes.

6. Should you be your own contractor? a) never; b) sometimes; c) if you like aggravation; d) definitely.

7. Does size matter? a) obviously; b) it depends on who you ask; c) always; d) not in the right design.

8. Cosmetic surgery closely resembles: a) a new kitchen; b) an old kitchen; c) custom kitchen refacing.

9. When Liz and I were remarried for our 25th anniversary, at the kitchen convention in Las Vegas, who preformed the ceremony? a) Wanye Newton; b) Liberace; c) Elvis Presley; d) all of the above.

10. Is it real or is it thermo foil? a) who can tell; b) who cares; c) why are you asking me this; d) only your carpenter knows for sure.

11. Picking the right contractor to do your renovation is as not as hard as picking: a) a lawyer; b) the president; c) a doctor; d) your nose.

12. Kitchen cabinets can be used anywhere in your home, just by changing: a) their brand; b) their color; c) their shape; d) their name.

13. Roy Book Binder, (www.roybookbinder.com), is a famous: a) kitchen designer; b) rock singer; c) blues singer; d) ne’er-do-well.

14. When the guy went to the doctor: a) he had an operation; b) he got a pill; c) his wife got a new kitchen; d) what are you talking about?

15. Should you pay for a kitchen design? a) not if you can get it for free; b) only if you have the money; c) “nothing will come of nothing”, King Lear; d) if you want something of value.

Essay Question (for extra credit): Why do bathrooms cost so much?

Give yourself 6 points for each correct answer. Add 10 points if you bothered to answer the essay question. If you scored over 80%, come to our showroom, the first 1,000 visitors will receive a special gift. If you didn’t do so well, don’t feel bad. Save the next 12 articles so you’ll have a study guide for the next quiz in 2011.

Answer key: 1-d; 2-c; 3-c; 4-b; 5-c; 6-b; 7-d; 8-c; 9-c; 10-a; 11-b; 12-d; 13-c; 14-c; 15-c.